it wasn't lemon gatorade
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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