ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
