Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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