looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
