Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize