Have you finally orgasmed yet?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
