rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
