i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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