There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
