So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize