from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We named our party play list daddy issues
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
