He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
