Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
