What a fucking waste of an outfit
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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