I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I currently don't understand fingers.
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