I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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