Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
