I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
