Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
