He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
