I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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