with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The Olympian is in my bed
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