new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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