My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
