I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
