Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
