Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i drank out of a bidet.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize