tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
