TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
