Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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