ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
