hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
