we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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