I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
