So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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