okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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