I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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