Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize