I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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