Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
