I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize