We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
