Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
