We're facebook friends in real life
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
