he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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