If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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