I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
