his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
