Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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