we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
