I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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