i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
