I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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