So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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