I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
a search helicopter?!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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