i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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