my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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