I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You are a genius and a whore.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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