god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
