I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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