you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
