You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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