And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
