Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
