What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Randomize
