we're chasing vodka with high fives
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
